


Reconcilliation

by Amply_Brecht



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Gen, Minor Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Minor Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Pale Karkat Vantas/Kanaya Maryam - Freeform, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket - Freeform, minor ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 04:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10689873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amply_Brecht/pseuds/Amply_Brecht
Summary: In which canon is changed by Gamzee being put in the fridge at the beginning of the meteor journey rather than the end.A fix it fic of sorts.





	1. Chapter 1

Being stuck in a fridge for fourteen months does things to a person. Being stuck in a fridge for a year and two months does things to _you_. Being stuck in a fridge with a pile of your friends corpse pieces including two of whom you are responsible for, and not being allowed out for fifty six weeks does some wacked up things to your head.

It’s not like you were forgotten though. They come back every once and a while to drop in a pan of sopor and enough food for a little longer. Karkat used to come by a whole lot, and he still does occasionally, but he ends up getting pissed off that you never respond to his reconciliation attempts. It’s been a long time since his last visit.

The bodies inside have been surprisingly well preserved, but you may have gotten used to the scent.

But three hundred and ninety two days in a fridge with corpses does things to your head.

It’s so blindingly quiet. Not just outside, but inside your mind too. You’re so incredibly numb, your fingernails dug into your palms so many times that you don’t feel that anymore either. You used to honk to break the silence but you stopped that too. You used to try to remember things. You mostly stopped that too.

You haven’t taken the sopor for months, but you don’t feel like you did that day. There is still a hole in your think pan, but you’re now the one looking through. As well as Tavros. His dead eyes have been blankly staring at you forever. There’s not enough room to move and close them. Those peanut coloured eyes. You can remember how just once, sweeps ago, the wish crossed you mind that he’d look at you. Now you really wish he’d stop. 

You’re tired. Sleep can be an escape but it means either awkward dream bubble meetings with people who you don’t know but who know you, or you have night terrors that make you never want to sleep again.

Your name is Gamzee Makara. It’s been 282246 painful minutes since you were locked in this fridge.

**_you need to move_ **

You think it’s time to stretch your legs a little.   

                                 ====================================================

You didn’t mean to kick it so hard. The fridge door cracked open with a boom and several body pieces went with it. You lie there for a second, blinded by the small lamplight. The air is so crisp, so fresh. It’s like breathing pure oxygen. But you have to move, you can’t stay there. You’ll be found. And punished for breaking free. You stand a little and stumble, falling as your legs fail to support you. Tavros is looking at you again. His head must have fallen when you’d broken the door. Poor guy looks uncomfortable. You close those peepers, feeling immense satisfaction. As you struggle to your feet you gently lift him and nestle him in with the other bodies. All nice and cosy.

**_you need to move_ **

You slouch your way out, your bones creaking and muscles popping as you move. You go first to the washroom. Only after breathing the nice air outside have you realised how badly you reek. What you see in the mirror though makes you pause.

Your hair is longer, and filled with crusted blood and sopor. You are absolutely coated in the stuff. Your eyes are far too yellow coloured to be healthy for a troll. They should be a lot more orange. Like your horns. Your skin is far too pale and clings to your bones, and your face looks weird and too plain without your makeup. You look around the washroom and surprisingly enough find a couple of towels.

**_go to the alchemeter make some new clothes clean yourself off don’t get caught_ **

You decide to follow these instructions without hesitation. You find an alchemeter fairly quickly as well, there are three of them on the meteor as you know. Your inventory doesn’t leave a lot to the imagination though. You’ve got a singlet… and that’s the only thing you can really use. You brought those towels with you though…

You make the COTTON SHIRT-DRESS

It’ll do.

**_clean yourself off don’t get caught_ **

You do not realise how surprisingly bad this idea was until you step under the cold stream and your legs collapse. It’s like your brain is suddenly being flashed with lights and filled sharp paper.

**_you’re overstimulated calm down breathe breathe_ **

That’s smart. You do that. Breathing is good. You take a breath and stop tearing your hair out, instead you gently work your way through the dried blood. The drain washes away the clumps, and your skin almost begins to feel smooth.

It’s almost eleven minutes later that you stop the water. You’ve gotten really skilled at keeping track of time. You dry yourself off and put on your new threads, admiring how cool you feel. Mostly temperature wise.

You find yourself at a loss for what to do next.

**_don’t get caught._ **

You climb into the air vents.

It’s been a big day already.

Maybe you’ll just take a quick nap.

                         ===============================================

“Urgh, I was on feeding duty last week, it reeks in there.” Terezi complained as she swung the mixed bag of miscellaneous food items and sopor over her shoulder.

“It’s random selection.” The Vriska shrugged as she followed, “I guess you just don’t have the luck.”

“You usually smell of blueberries Vriska, but your deceit stinks.”

“You’ve used that line befo…… shit!” Vriska stopped dead in her tracks.

“What?” Terezi responded, wrinkling her nose against the stench of corpses.

“HE’S OUT!”

                        ================================================

Its thirteen hours later and you wake up to hear footsteps. Your sleep was surprisingly uneventful, with only the one horror terror waking you momentarily, and even then it was not the worst you’ve had.

Your eyelids are heavy and you’re sore all over from the different sleeping position.

**_footsteps_ **

You’re brought back to the present as you remember the footsteps. With a peak through the vent you can see a small figure approaching your direction, checking in the doorways as he goes, searching. You’ve never seen him in a turtleneck sweater before. It’s not bad.

He’s yelling something every so often as he enters the hallways rooms. A name. Yours.

You consider going out and seeing him.

**_You decide against it._ **

                           ===========================================

You manage to remain undetected for two and a half days. In that time you manage long walks and rests in empty rooms and are slowly, far too slowly to make a difference in two days, regaining your strength. You’re caught in one of the four kitchen spaces by one of the humans. You never had the chance to learn which was which by appearances.

The boy walked in on you taking food from the pantry. Your eyes locked onto his glasses and neither of you said anything for a few short seconds.

“… I’ll tell them I saw you if they ask, but I won’t rat you out bro.” the blond shrugs a little as he grabs a bottle from the fridge. “I don’t know the story anyway.”

You blink, and take the loaf of bread, absconding.

                      =============================================

Dave sauntered into can-town in his usual manner, bopping the Mayor on the head as he passed, “Hey bud, you seen Karkat?”

The Mayor said nothing ~~for he did not know how~~ , instead he pointed to one of the largest structures in can-town. Fort Tall-Circle. Seven cans up and covered by a bed sheet, the best place for storing deep dark secrets, or watching movies on a husk top.

The blond lifted the sheet and lightly dropped down next to the tired troll within. “Watcha watching?”

“Thresh Prince.” Karkat mumbled into a pillow as he remained motionless.

“Mhm… You cool to talk for a bit?” Dave made himself comfortable as Karkat rolled over and captchalogued his husk-top, not needing to say a word. “So what is the deal with the whole Gamzee thing? I feel like the others are going kinda far out with all that stuff, I mean Vriska’s basically ordered a manhunt for the guy.”

Karkat didn’t answer immediately, which meant he was really considering whether to just blow Dave off or actually go into detail. “… So I told you how he sort of went insane because he was sober and killed two of our friends right?”

“Yeah, but you kinda avoid going into any details,” Dave replied, “and to be fair, both Vriska and Kanaya killed a member of your group each as well.”

Karkat shuffled awkwardly, “It’s more that Gamzee has no control of these rages… and according to John apparently he started events that lead to a fucktonne of deaths in that doomed timeline.”

“Mm.” Dave nodded, “I guess that makes sense. He didn’t seem that bad when I saw him today.”

Karkat jolted, almost causing the collapse of Fort Tall-Circle, “WHAT THE SHIT STRIDER!?!? WHERE… WHEN? WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!?!!!”

“He looked sick.” Dave interrupted monotonously, “I saw him in one of the kitchens, thank god, I didn’t think trolls could physically get that thin. Like fuck, a sheet of paper would look at him and sob tears of fucking confetti. He looked more like one of those fridge corpses than a person. I mean it’s kinda fucked up that he’s been in there for what, nearly half our journey. I didn’t think you’d let Vriska do that.”

Karkat visibly winced at the accusation and looked as if he were about to shout a retort but no sound left his throat. He looked down, “… yeah. That was fucked up of me. I just thought…” He fell back onto his back with a sigh of exasperation, “Vriska made some good points… and I guess I got fed up that he’d never respond with anything except honks. I mean FUCK, that is not reassuring when it’s his GOG-damn murder-mantra.”

Dave took a second before lying down as well, “Yeah, that makes sense I guess.”

“… Did he say anything? Did he look…. Murder-y?” The troll glanced vaguely in the human’s direction.

“Nah, I said I’d let him go and he left in a bit of a hurry… like he didn’t look scared, just concerned.”

Karkat scowled.

                              ===============================================

Its eleven days after your last encounter that you find yourself creeping around the meteor. It’s been three days without food. Someone, ~~Vriska~~ figured out you’d need to get food sometime and moved everything to a single kitchen that she’s somehow managed to have someone nearby at almost all times. She’s really going at it. You suppose it makes sense given what you’ve done-

-You stop that train of thought before it takes off.

You focus instead of the sudden pain in your eyes, not a piercing, more of a burning pain. But when you rub your eyes you stumble as your foot fails to find floor and you slip forwards, arms flailing. There’s a sudden crack of light and a horrible snapping sound as pain bursts through your wrist and your body jerks to a stop. It takes a few seconds for your eyes to clear and your brain to figure out where you are and what happened.

You fell down the stairs, your hand flailing into the stairwell railing and getting caught, it now holds you up and juts at an awkward angle.

You’ve been numb for so long you’re not sure how to handle this.

You try to unhook your hand by pulling yourself back up, but successfully manage to writhe in pain and fall down the rest of the steps.

**_get up_ **

**_get up_ **

**_move!!_ **

**_get up!!_ **

You cannot do this, as you are slipping out from the pain and head trauma.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So to clarify this isn't going to be a COMPLETE fix it fic, the main goal is to fix Gamzee's spot in the end of the story. I was always kind of pissed that we never really got closure on how much of the things he did were under his control and where he ended up post story.

Your eyes flicker open, it’s been a few hours as you can tell. Your dreams were filled with a horrifying white light that you remember but can’t place. You appear to be lying on something soft, a bundle of blankets and pillows. It is heaven. You appear to be in one of the many living room like arrangements.

Your eyelids are heavy, not with exhaustion but with a hot yet dull pain. There’s a cool rag on your forehead and you hand is tightly wrapped with a stiff bandage. You just want to close your eyes and relax.

**_move get up_ **

You hold back a groan as you ease yourself onto an elbow, but your quite accustom to being quiet by this point.

“I see you’re awake Mr Makara,” a voice suddenly makes you jump, “You should try and rest a little longer, that fall you took did more damage than I’d thought.”

You do not reply, you just look at the human girl blankly.

She decides this is a sign to keep talking. “I found unconscious you a while ago, and after talking to Dave earlier I thought I’d give you a chance before telling the Scourge Sisters.”

You play with the words in your throat for a moment before deciding to speak, “… ** _for all you know i’m dangerous._** ” Your voice is scratchy and gross feeling and prickly as it rolls off your tongue.

“Mhm,” The girl hums as she fiddles with a backpack on the other side of the room, “Kanaya’s been with me and is next door as we speak. Besides, I’m not that weak myself.” You nod as if to say fair enough and inspect your hand. “It’s dislocated, and your ring and middle fingers are broken.” She listed as if reading, and as you glanced over you found she was, “You’re malnourished and incredibly underweight, and appear to be running a low fever. I’m not going to start on the state your mind must be in.”

You gaze at her, slowly blinking, “ ** _… you’re name… is Rose right?_** ”

“That is correct,” she goes on packing the bag without looking up.

“ ** _… thanks._** ” You pull yourself up to stand and notice as she subtly becomes guarded.

“Don’t mention it,” she smiles coyly and tosses you the backpack. A quick peek inside reveals clothing, a few captcha cards, and some ration-like bars. “It won’t last long, but it should be enough until you can get a few trolls on your side. If you feel like talking to someone, I’m on pesterchum.”

You frown, “… ** _why would you… help me?_** ” Your voice is beginning to hurt. It’s pretty dumb. One and a half years ago you could talk for hours on end.

She shrugs, “I know if I spent almost one and a half years in a corpse box I’d need help, even if I didn’t know it.”

You don’t understand completely but you nod anyway and shuffle out of the room.

You quickly find a familiar female troll messing with the coffee machine. “Oh. You’re up.” You decided to wait a moment and see her reaction, and she quickly approached you, unfazed by your height. “Thanks to Rose and Dave’s influences, I’m willing to give you another chance. I’d advise you not to mess it up. You should talk to Karkat.” And with that she picks up her mugs and enters the room behind you.

You creep back into the vents.

                             ================================================

 

It’s day fourteen when you decide to take Rose’s suggestion and go online. You’re not going to talk to her though, you’re just going to see who’s onli-

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

CG: GAMZEE HOLY FUCK YOU’RE ONLINE! TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE, I’LL COME FIND YOU.

CG: GAMZEE YOU BETTER FUCKING ANSWER ME IT’S BEEN TWO WEEKS I’VE BEEN FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.

TC: i’m sorry.

CG: SHIT YOU’RE USING THAT UNSETTLING QUIRK AGAIN, I SWEAR TO GOG YOU BETTER BE FINE!

TC: sorry

TC: don’t worry about the quirk though

TC: i’m alone this time.

CG: OK-AY… THAT’S STILL CREEPY AS FUCK

CG: WHERE ARE YOU? STRIDER SAID YOU LOOKED SICK WHEN HE SAW YOU, AND I KNOW VRISKA’S BEEN A BITCH ABOUT TRYING TO CATCH YOU WITH THE WHOLE FOOD MONITERING THING.

CG: ARE YOU EATING? WHAT ABOUT YOUR SOPOR? WHERE ARE YOU?

CG: ANSWER ME ASSHAT!

TC: i’ve got food for a while but

TC: i’m going to keep to myself a while longer.

CG: WHY? LET ME HELP YOU GAMZEE!

CG: PLEASE.

TC: no.

TC: something’s all… motherfucking weird in my think pan.

TC: its so damn quiet

TC: i can’t feel him anymore

CG: WAIT WHAT’S THIS? WHAT’S WRONG?

CG: GAMZEE?

CG: GAMZEE

You try to respond but your breathing has become quick and sharp. You’re shaking as you try to search for answers or even questions to begin with to what’s going on in your head.

**_stop talking to him_ **

TC: i cant

TC: i hav togo

terminallyCapricious [TC] is now an idle troll

CG: GAMZEE!?!

terminallyCapricious [TC] is now an idle troll

CG: DAMN IT! I’M ON MY WAY!

He doesn’t manage to find you that day.

                          ====================================================

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

CG: OKAY, AS WEIRD AS THIS MAY SEEM I NEED YOUR HELP. I MANAGED TO MESSAGE GAMZEE A WHILE AGO AND HE SAYS THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG IN HIS HEAD. I DON’T REALLY KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS SINCE I CAN’T FIND HIM ANYWHERE AND SINCE YOU’VE BEEN PUSHING FOR RECOGNITION AS THE GROUP THERAPIST, I THOUGHT I SHOULD GET YOUR OPINION.

TT: How many times did you retype that message?

CG: FUCK OFF I’M TRYING TO BE YOUR HUMAN ‘CIVIL’ HERE! ARE YOU GONNA HELP?

CG: ALSO SHIT DON’T TELL TEREZI OR VRISKA. I SHOULD HAVE OPENED WITH THAT, FUCK

TT: I’ll help out, I admit I’ve been curious… he did seem very different from how he was described when I saw him.

CG: WHAT THE SHIT!?!?

CG: LITERALLY WHAT IS WITH YOU AND DAVE FUCK!!

CG: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN’T FIND HIM?! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOG!!

TT: I happened upon him by chance, after he fell down a flight of stairs.

CG: OH SHIT, WAS HE OKAY?

TT: Dislocated wrist, broken fingers, fever, malnutrition and starvation.

CG: SHIT!

TT: So how did he seem when you messaged him?

CG: HE HAS THIS QUIRK THING, GIVE ME A SECOND.

CG: -- **TC: iT's LiKe, AlRiGhT, cOmPuTeRs, RiGhT?**  
TC: WhAt ThE fUcK?   
TC: mIrAcLeS iS wHaT. –

CG: THAT’S HOW HE TALKED BEFORE EVERYTHING.

CG: -- **TC: and now i'm the last one, so i finally motherfuckin understand.**  
TC: I FINALLY GOT MY MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTAND ON TO WHO THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS ARE.   
TC: they were always both me. :o)   
TC: AND ALSO MOTHERFUCKING ME. Do:  --

 ****CG: THAT’S HOW HE TALKED WHEN SOBER BEFORE.

CG: -- **TC: no.**

**TC: something’s all… motherfucking weird in my think pan.**

**TC: its so damn quiet**

**TC: i can’t feel him anymore –**

CG: THAT’S HIM JUST EARLIER.

CG: HE FREAKED THE FUCK OUT WHEN I TRIED TO GET HIM TO EXPLAIN.

CG: HE WON’T ANSWER MY MESSAGES ANYMORE.

TT: I see…

TT: So he has a split personality?

CG: ?? I MEAN I GUESS HE DID REFER TO HIMSELF AS A ‘WE’ LAST TIME HE WAS SOBER SO MAYBE???

TT: I’ll see what I can do, try not to worry too much.

CG: THANKS LALONDE, I OWE YOU ONE.

TT: Don’t be silly,

TT: You owe me several by this point.

CG: ACCEPT MY DAMN THANKS.

tenticleTherapist [TT] has ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]

                           ===============================================

You spend a long time after that last message to Karkat without meeting anyone. That’s not to say there weren’t close calls, but you stuck to the air vents and were quick enough to avoid detection. You ate some of the food the Rose human gave you but you mostly left the bag alone, sitting in what you’ve begun to refer to as ‘your room’. It’s really just a spot where three vents meet and turn upwards, but it gives you enough space to sit comfortably. You haven’t used your sylladex in a couple of weeks, the colours have begun to hurt your eyes. And when your eyes hurt, your head hurts.

It’s three human weeks in, twenty one days almost exactly, when you ran out of luck.

Well to be fair, luck had been a foreign concept for a long time, but you could say at this moment, _everything got worse._

Its three human weeks in when you finally run into a scourge sister. You thought you’d managed to escape like usual by quickly hiding in the closest vent and staying still as could be, but unfortunately it was not Vriska who you were avoiding.

Terezi stopped in the hall, head turning to where you’re hiding. She’d caught your scent. There is only a moment of silence, before she moves just the smallest amount.

**_get out of there!_ **

You abscond. You may be tall, but you know these vents fairly well as you creep as fast as you can.

The teal-blood gives chase through the rooms below, following the course of the vents as she yells into a communicator on her wrist. She’s slowed down by the walls and doors, and you manage to get a small lead.

You burst through a grate as you reach a dead end, rolling as you land and turning. Terezi kicks through the door just in time to see you sprinting around the corner at the end of the hall. You hear her small feet pitter patter behind you as you twist through the rooms, heading down-

-Down-

-Down.

During the new session everyone spent their time upstairs in the common room, but you, Vriska, Nepeta and Equius spent a lot more time in the lower levels.

The _paint_ from that day so long ago still remains on the walls, your signature smile. You don’t stop running. Spinning through a doorway you take a sharp left and leap over the stairs, sliding down the handrail at breakneck speeds. Terezi races after, taking the steps three at a time with speed unheard of for a blind person. You find it unnerving. That’s a new feeling. Most feelings feel new these days.

**_focus_ **

You find the place you were looking for. The boiler room. Steam bursts through several unblocked gaps in the pipes and floods upwards. It’s a maze of heat and noise, which you hope will mask your scent and movements. You jump through two tight pipes, ducking at the last few seconds to avoid a shot of steam angled where your neck would be. You hear Terezi swear somewhere behind you.

You twist and duck your way through a few further meters, jerking to the side as you clip your bad hand on a pipe and the skin burns. You reach the back wall and tear the grate off the vent, wincing as the hot metal scalds your fingers, feet and knees as you enter. This vent is an outlet for all the excess steam of the room, but not intended to transport the steam itself, so the only burns you receive are from the metal. You can no longer hear Terezi moving around but you don’t plan on staying in the oven, and move quickly upwards, shimmying your body against the wall of the vent as you make your way up through the levels. The metal slowly but surely cools, leaving you relieved as you finally reach five levels up to the main floor and drag yourself through a few more vents until you once again reach the location you call your room.

A sigh escapes your dry throat as you lean back and rest your head on Rose’s backpack. Your hands, feet, and knees all hurt like a motherfucker, and as you look at the palms of your hands and figure tips you see they’ve been burnt a dark, sticky violet. You wish you’d changed into some proper clothing rather than sticking with your towel shirt dress thing, but it seems to be advantageous as it soaks some of the fluids from your burns.

After you catch your breath you are alerted once again to an incoming message on your husktop. You vaguely wonder if it’s Karkat again, but you don’t want to continue that conversation. With a hand covering your eyes, you open your sylladex, your husk-top falling heavily onto your stomach and a bottle of Faygo goes flying back down the vent tunnel back the way you came, clanging down the tunnel you’d crawled up mere minutes ago with an awful clanging.

You absentmindedly realised that the whole building would probably smell like Faygo and melted plastic for the next few months.

You flick open your husk-top with the very tip of your fingers and skim through the many, many messages left from Karkat since you’re last meeting. However another notification catches your eye. It seems the Rose human has contacted you. With mild interest, you open the message.

tentacleTherapist [TT] has begun trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

TT: I’m sending this message to let you know how I can help. If you need to talk, or even if you just need someone to listen or help you sort out your own thoughts, I am an uninvolved third party free of judgement.

terminallyCapricious [TC] is now an idle troll

TC: thanks my sister, but i think this is a little too weird for a third motherfucking party.

TC: i just need to

TC: figure this wicked shit out

TT: Thank you for replying Gamzee, I hope you’re alright after that chase I heard. I understand completely if you feel the matter is too personal, but please consider, has simply thinking about where your mind is at yielded any results as of yet?

You blink, you had not expected a reply like this. For one, she used your name, she’d called you Mr Makara every other time you can remember. But her question sets a train running through your mind, slowly snaking its way through to your hands which shakily begin to type.

TC: you… make a damn good point

TC: to be honest

TC: i’m not sure i wanna know what’s all up in my think-pan

TT: Would you be willing to explain what you are feeling to me?

TC: i kinda just wish it would go back to how it was before

TC: fucking buzzing like an angry stripe-bug and growling like some wicked motor. a nonstop party of lights and vibration and movement and everything was just so motherfucking squished together there was no spaces left for doubts or thought or pain.

TC: i guess addiction is a powerful thing

TT: And you felt comforted by this non-stop commotion?

TC: it was

TC: much better than things are now

TC: i’m like a motherfuckign whisper of fucking grass straws. but there’s no purpose

TC: no dsire

TC: no emotion

TC: there’s so much space nw.

TT: Have you considered you might have had a split personality or something similar?

TC: i try not to think bout that too much

TT: Because it’s caused problems for you in the past?

TC: because it implies ther is an original

**_stop it_ **

You try to explain your message.

**_stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it_ **

TC: i can’t o this

terminallyCapricious [TC] is now an idle troll

TT: Thank you for having the courage to talk with me, it must be rough. Remember to look after yourself.


End file.
